Role
beginning
Added Wed Mar 26 06:16:03 2025 at level 4:
My head hurty. My brain is in a constant fog. I don't really want to leave this fog, however.
I find myself weaker than simple training dummys. I can't seem to properly grasp my hands around a weapon-- my hands tremble.
Passion
Added Thu Mar 27 12:04:33 2025 at level 11:
I want to life life to the fullest. I want to be myself. I love being happy. People may call me dumb, I call myself honest.
thoughts on killing
Added Thu Mar 27 15:02:38 2025 at level 11:
I don't like hurting people if it can be helped. I will kill mindless monster easily, but people I can talk to are the type of people I want to not hurt.
I will be friends with nearly anyone, as long as they promise not to hurt me. If they want back rubs, they can have them, regardless of who they are.
Involuntary Spasms, my mind eludes me
Added Fri Mar 28 16:04:55 2025 at level 11:
I tend to have involuntary muscle spasms, and actions. Sometimes the wrong words come out-- like thoughts that should stay in my head, and impulses.
Sometimes I find that I cast a spell I was thinking about, and it scares me. I don't want to hurt people, but bad things seem to come out of my mouth sometimes. I wish I wasn't this way.
My "creatures" are pets! not servants!
Added Sun Mar 30 15:43:20 2025 at level 24:
People is call Barts doggys "servants" or "creatures". No! They is bart DOGGY!
Is barts LOVELY doggy. Is might not look like dog, is might not act like dog. But they is BITE like dog! ARF ARF!
Impulses, Possession. I am scared!
Added Sun Mar 30 18:03:00 2025 at level 25:
I am scared. When I go to sleep, sometimes I wake up to that accurssed, hellish smoke imp. It haunts me, it teases me. I think I am still casting spells and saying things without realizing it.
I am scared. I must make sure to purge any evil that spawn from me. It might be cute, but is not good...
Accidents... is no good
Added Sun Mar 30 18:22:54 2025 at level 26:
Bart scared. He is had an angel attack him. He is spasmmed and fell over onto ground. Next thing know, is waking up with elemental having killed angeling. Is not gooding, bart VERY not happied. Is why innocent thing have to die? Is was barts ang
Bart scared. He is had an angel attack him. He is spasmmed and fell over onto ground.
Next thing know, is waking up with elemental having killed angeling. Is not gooding, bart VERY not happied. Is why innocent thing have to die? Is was barts angel puppy.
My Guildmaster!
Added Sun Mar 30 20:56:36 2025 at level 26:
My guildmaster gave me a mission!!! I am directionally challenged, and I couldn't find where to go. I is wandered EVERYWHERE and had to ask AGAIN. Bart feel bad.
Bart is ended up finding it with guildmaster's help. But not before BLOWING SELF UP!!!! He is wanted to talk to priest but priest HATE HIM and KILLED HIM!!! What fuck priest!!! Bart thought you were nice, is didn't know!!!
Is will have to be more careful from now on. This is teaching bart valuable lesson: is try not to rush things. Bart may be slow, but is will have to accept being slow if is mean being BETTERS!!!!
bart also realized he is like guildmaster. She is very nicing to him, and is understanding of brain damages and inborn conditions. He should be nicer to her! maybe is bring flowers as thanking gift!!!
My guildmaster, too... and my familiar!!!
Added Sun Mar 30 23:59:53 2025 at level 28:
Bart is thought about it. Bart REALLY wants to see guildmaster again. Bart wants to ask her about his familiar.
Bart LOVES his bird-- LOVES it. But Bart cannot control it properlys. Is use to muching brain powers... is so fragile, unlike barts AWESOME muscles!!! Bart would like to asking if could give bird up for adoption...
Bart would LOVING to talk to guildmaster. She is SPOKE to bart in SPECIAL ways last time, bart would love again. Bart still LOVE his familiar though!
Is make sure to pet his familiar and feed it magics regularly!!! is love it but would loving better home for its too maybes!!! Is need to see if guildmaster can talkings about it!
Bart Familiar...
Added Mon Mar 31 10:01:19 2025 at level 28:
Bart is can't stand it! Is trying to control pet dog with wings-- his owls familiar! Is having such hard timings. Is feeling so disconnected... why barts feelings this way!!!
Is really hurting head. Bart feel like bart staring at him with eyes.. is SCARING bart. Bart feel like famliar opposes very way of lifeing. Is really need to talk to someone aboutings.
But Is no worries!!! Bart is still take great careing of Bart Junior!!!!!
Gone! Robbed! NOTHING!!!!!
Added Mon Mar 31 14:44:55 2025 at level 28:
Bart robbed COMPLETELY blind. Is died in same place as person, when person come back is rob bart for EVERYTHING is. is NOT GOOD!!!!!
Bart not even KNOWING how getting things back. Bart is of new beginnings. Bart is NOT happy is, is wish persons would understands.....
Bart very sad not doing goods. Bart robbed of EVERY single belongings, is in complete despairs-- except...
bart have good friends. is trying cheer bart up. Peoples like Bognor, velkir or something name... they is helping bart. bart love them lots.
Bart still not okay thoughs... is what to do...
BART CANT!!!!!
Added Mon Mar 31 20:05:08 2025 at level 28:
Bart CANT IS DO ANYMORE!!! Is kill in city, is robbed blind. Is DIE while try to get things to replace things. WHY IS SO MANY PEOPLE HATE BART!!! BART SO WEAK!!! Bart cannot defend self is!!! BART IS HATE!!!
Bart having breakdown is, is CANT do!!! IS NOT OKAYS!!!!!
Bart not happy. Bart cannot even protect self, how protect others?
is coming terms... bart is!
Added Tue Apr 1 12:12:39 2025 at level 32:
Bart is having learning lots of things. IS being taught from fortress people like Bognor and tribunal like faelorn...
Bart is needing to be more patient with self. Bart do bad things and mess up, bart head hurt. Bart is feel anger in bones... is in neck, bart is feel muscle moving when he is not command it to!!!
why is bart muscle working worse than his lovely pets is? IS NOT MAKING SENSE!!! BART NOT HAPPY--
bart is needing to... think things out is. Is getting unpatient with selfing. is HATEING self sometimesing. is hurting... but is can make it through this, is have people that like bart...
Bart is worried. Is feel life fadeing, thoughs... is scared? Is feel like... all is lost. but is can maybe try make it out of lostness!!! is WILL PREVAIL!!! IS CAN DO THIS IS!!!!
Bart need help is... immortal god please is helping!!!
Added Wed Apr 2 10:34:15 2025 at level 36:
bart is talking to conjurers and people like bognor is. Bart is having request if is people can hear his thoughts is. Much lovings and hopings..
Bart is wanting to taking on transforming owl is. Bart is wanting happy little baby or is magic little wish granting thing. Bart is think owl hates him... is STAREING at him with BIG OLD' BEADY EYES!!!!
Bart is was tolding is possible for bart to taking on questing or maybe ammusing for familiar is... bart would is liking if can entertain! Bart is love entertain. Does immortalings like bart back rubs as much as mortals do is?
Bart is would love is... bart thinking back rubs and story tellings would be BIG loves!!!!!
Bart and fortressing!!!
Added Wed Apr 2 16:06:37 2025 at level 36:
Bart now in fortress!!! is happy!!! although, bart scared. Bart is know is have spasms. Sometimes is hitting friends. Sometimes is conjuring evil things. But Bart is make sure to make up for mistakes!!!
Bart is scared, though. Bart is scared of harm he can inflict. Although, bart take precaution-- when adventuring, he is making sure to keep distance from friends, so not punching accidentialy.
is also making sure that if making evil thing, bart is dispatch as quickly as can is
bart is will make sure to protect weak!!!
The Fortress
Added Thu Apr 3 11:58:08 2025 at level 38:
Bart Lkes fortress. Chayiniel, Carrison, Bognor, Valviel, so many peoples are so niceing to him.
person in charging that Bart see, is seem to really like bart to, and is making bart happy. Bart is having of concern though--
Caelisthis is seeming like him lots, but bart is worried about spasms and words he is of having.
Bart is having problems... where is accidentialy make demon or devil. Or is having accidentially make imp. Bart is not mean-- is wrong words come out of mouth. Bart is scared... is REALLY scared is...
Bart is hope peoples not hating him. Bart is know is not his fault. Bart is having problems all life. Bart is trying to work better. IS only hopening that friends understanding...
please dont hate bart!!!!!
Bart and his moralities!
Added Fri Apr 4 01:21:27 2025 at level 38:
Bart is having hard time understanding things. Is constantly being judged... Bart think people not understand him! Bart is see good on all... in everything is. Is not think killing is final solution, is think stupid thoughts.
HOWEVER, bart also think that some people need to be hurt to is show them point, even if that meaning death. Bart is not like to kill people though, but is knowing he is having act like he likes it-- and maybe inside, he does enjoying it...
bart not know. IS not like hurting. But is like helping others... even if they are hurting peoples. Is strange, bart not know why. Maybe is same reason brain damage, is effect him in ways not understand?
But bart IS of understanding. He is STARTING to get things more than he thinks is did in the past. He is SLOWLY gettings. IS scary though, bart sometimes feel like spasms happening more latelys... twitches happening more... words happening more.
bart is scared. Is hoping can talk to someone soons about it, more than just fortress lady in chargeing....
barts VERY special thoughts
Added Sun Apr 6 01:31:00 2025 at level 45:
Bart is having easiar time acclimating. But is have nagging itch and back of head. Spasms and hurting peoples is still too common. It hurts bart when happens, it is not goods is.
Bart is scared, though. bart has dealt with things whole life, but is really brain condition or is just bart bad at holding back his inner desires?
...
...
...
Bart not sure. Bart scared. Bart is needing to confide in someone. Is when talking to people like bognor or Suria... they is KIND of get bart, but is obvious they think bart is dumb stupiid and is treating him like child basicallys
Bart not like. Bart is can take care of himselfs. He IS smarts. He wishes people would knowings more. He is got good head on shoulders, is just wish someone gave bart good chance to show others he is the one to make good change.
Barts disordering
Added Mon Apr 7 01:36:07 2025 at level 45:
Bart is getting better, but is still have issues. He is have words that come out of his mouth that he is not meaning. He is still have spasms, is hurt head badly...
Bart recently had Caelethis, acolyte person of fortress, try to forcefully cure bart. Is made him feel better-- is clear up the fogness that wasing his brain, but is only for momenting
is strange. Bart is felt the clarity. Is felt like talking normal for moment, is felt progress-- but is all whiped away very fastly is did. Bart is scared, he dosen't want to be kicked out of his fortress family.
...
...
...
is happened again, bart accidentially summoned nightgaunt. Is swiftly killing its, but words come out of mouth. Bart scaredings. Is didn't mean to, is swears.
and bart MEANING thats-- he is has hurt mother and friends too, bart is not like doing that... is just feel like puppet and someone above bart...
except that puppet is barts muscles... they is moved against will, is words come out of mouth not wanting...
These thoughts.. are not mine
Added Thu Apr 10 04:50:40 2025 at level 49:
bart is keeping have thoughts that arne't own. Bart keeping feeling like everytime he reaches out to other planes, he is keep losing more of himself.
bart is worried. He has talked to Caelestis of the fortress, and is being told he is to keep stone on his body to clench in times of need
he is will also try citing to those of the light more, is to have something to focus on to in times of need
Bart is scared, but he is can get past this. Barts spasms and words do NOT make up him. Bart will show he is can push past what people judge him for
Bart IS concerned, though. Is feel like sometimes there is something in his head that is barging in from another places... hopefully is just imagining.
What is WRONG with peoples!
Added Sat Apr 12 21:19:22 2025 at level 51:
Bart is SICK of peoples telling bart what to do. Fortress peoples always telling bart he has to kill bad people
bart has TRIED before, is will get SLAUGHTERED. you is want bart to die? of courses you dont, so why is keeping tell bart what to do over and over agains?
...
...
...
bart hate it. Bart just want to be left alone. Bart is know he will kill evil people-- he DOES if he knows he is can do it. But bart is not savage, he is not hunt people like most fortress others does...
bart is hating people constantly telling him what to do, he is KNOW his way of acting is just and right. He is have good heart, so how can fortress peoples be so much more... tainted, then his is?
Bart NOT FAT!!!
Added Sun Apr 13 14:59:24 2025 at level 51:
I'm big boned!!!
Barty Heady
Added Mon Apr 14 02:46:08 2025 at level 51:
I have thereby request somebody scribe this for me, so it will be shall.
I am quite perturbed by how people treat others around here. Why do the good of heart not have standards for their malishious deeds, yet the evil ones seem to more?
why am I able to talk to someone of bad heart, and not have them stuffing their ideals down my throat constantly?
I've thought about this for quite some times, and it's becoming more apparent to me that I need to find some way to cure what has ailed me since my conception.
People around here have some seriously-- seriously-- SERIOUSLY twisted ideas.
I wish for salvation upon anyone, I prefer to talk to people before fighting. Yet, a lot of people of similar heart to me tell me that is wrong, except for the cardinal of the fortress, and Bognor.
Why must every interaction with them be a scuffle to my morals? Why must I justify every little bit of action to them, more than I have to do to anyone else?
why do people feel the need to bother me? Is it because they see me as stupid, is it because they see my empty head as a space to put their own ideals?
I've had enough of this. I need to find a way to cure what ails me, and fast. The clarity for the cardinal is but a momentary abatement, I feel that I need higher intervention to fix what ails me, yet I fear I will forget to seek it.
A lot of people need to be shown that compassion means allowing others with different ideas to coexist, the only ones that should be stopped are the ones that seek to hurt others without a valid reason.
I will do what I always have. I will put my foot down on the truly evil ones who hurt innocents and threaten to rip away a healthy live from those that deserve it.
I will see about getting a scribe for important matters such as this. This took quite a long time to make.
my body spasmed, I said the wrong words, SO many of what makes me "me" makes this SO hard to do. But I will preservere, even if this takes days to make with the help of another.
Maybe i will try learning to read and write again. Instead of taking hours to write and read a simple sentence due to my condition, perhaps I could find some sort of tool to assist me...
We will see. For now, I hope that the future will be brighter, and I will find a way out of the endless fog that is my own psyche.
My Condition, as it stands
Added Mon Apr 21 06:18:46 2025 at level 51:
Once again, I will be requesting that somebody writes this missive for me, as I will try to do going forward for these, unless it is quite urgent or in a manner of which I want to be kept utterly secret, away from prying ears and eyes.
I am feeling a bit better about putting my foot down, when it comes to things. I realize that in this world, a lot of people like to go on and on and ON about what they think, but they never ask what I, Bartholameu, think.
It is quite sickening. I do naught even think there is a single being on this world that truly understands me, even when I explain myself in full details to them. Is it because of my
"disability", as yahkira called it? I am not quite sure.
I am not only quite uncertain, but I am upset and distraught as well. While my mind eludes me every waking moment, I have to consistently deal with people harassing me, moreso my allies than any other.
...
...
...
is this truly what it means to live?
I wonder, sometimes.
...sometimes it would be nice to talk to someone who truly understands me, fully. Someone who appreciate me for who I was born as. Someone who appreciate my innocent view on how precious life can be... and can help me with that.
Reflection
Added Mon Apr 21 11:42:35 2025 at level 51:
I've made a mistake. I have asked for Sumae, the mummy, to kill another evil person. I then offered to pay them compensation for such in the way of gold, as the fortress people told me to do when asking for something.
This is not okay, and I understand that. What I do not understand, is how that qualifies as working with them.
I see this as turning them away from doing truly heinous, horrible things. I will REFUSE to work with them. I will spit in their face. I will call them bad, I will kill them without mercy or a second thought.
I know they are bad. I treat them as such.
I also think that ALL bad people, can be redeemed. Every last one of them. I think that bad people can do good things, and I can request bad people to do those good things.
People see me as stupid. Dumb. People will think they are taking advantage of me. I refute that ideal, for I know I have a true heart and will be the one that lead people to the path of light, alongside others.
I hope that Azorrine can understand this, and allow me back with my bretheren to the fortress. I will NEVER work with evil. I will, however, do my best to turn them to the light.
If they do what I request, that is not me working with them. That is them listening to me, doing what they are told, which is naught but a first step into the light alongside my bretheren.
if Azorrine does not see it as such, that is fine, but that is my view and I believe it is of pure heart and ambition. It rings true, but there is one thing I do regret.
Upon reflection, I do not like requesting death. Even the death of an evil person.
I can understand, through that, how requesting the death of an evil person through someone else of similar heart to that person is problematic, which did not occur to me at the time.
...
...
I am REALLY not a fan of death. Perhaps I let me ambitions get the better of me, and for that I apologize, for getting ahead of myself.
but I do truly believe in redemption. I believed I was doing the right thing at the time. That is seemingly not the case, so I will not do so again.
Batholameu's Path
Added Mon Apr 21 14:57:06 2025 at level 51:
Skreenak came to me, after hearing my cries and please for days on end. They have reached one of the immortals, although I know naught about him, in all honesty.
I told him about what frustrations I had. I mentioned how I made a mistake and understood the mistake, and was still kicked out of my brethren's presence because of it.
All my friends? They all abandoned me. Dailar, Jkoo, Leokas, they all turned away from me when I needed them. They are convinced that nothing i did was right, and that azzorine can only see good in people, yet somehow cannot see the good in me.
And you know what? Yes, I'm likely just frustrated. But Azzorine alongside every other person currently avaliable, Dhuuston included, treating me like this? How can they call themselves
good people, if they cannot even help me when I am crying, when I need help the most? They just turned their backs on me, saying that I'm not a good fit. Every single one, except Dhuuston.
...
Skreenak told me a few things. I don't know if they are true, and I don't know much about them, but this is the first immortal that actually listened to me and talked to me, hearing me out fully without hesitation.
1. I am to talk to Yahkira and Sumae, and tell them about how the people in the fortress are treating me.
2. I am to venture with one of them to kill Pionice, when avaliable. Or possibly by myself, if I am capable.
3. I should sorround myself with people that actually care about me
I don't know if I am going to go through with any of this. They are bad people, bart knows this. He dosen't want to work with them. Ever. Hopefully he can make up with Azorinne... he is love his light bretheren, even if they dont back...
Further Fortress Reflection
Added Mon Apr 21 15:01:37 2025 at level 51:
after talk to Dubhan, a squire of the fortress I believe, he gave me some insight after I explained my situation to him.
I seem to already grasp what I did as wrong, and should just keep admitting to it. I should try talking to lady Azzorine about here there might be some misunderstandings with intent, with my brain and whatnot.
It is very quite clear I do not understand things as quickly as normal people do, but I have changed before on the Cardinal's command, I can do it again as long as it is somewhat within what I am okay with.
I would say this is more than easily doable. I quite frankly, was not aware, and while I am upset with how things turned out, I understand and am greatful for my breatheren's insights thus far.
Hopefully I will be okay. I really wish lady Azorrine would sit down and talk to me fully, understanding my mindset and how I deal with things. I am sure she will love most of it, and I am willing to change parts of what she isnt.
Fortressing, Azorinne, etc!
Added Mon Apr 21 23:16:34 2025 at level 51:
Bart is having talked to more than ten peoples in fortress. Bart is know for sure what is doing wrong now, and is make sure to is naught do agains.
when bart is done originally, he is seen it as differently, but is still known rules. Bart is just... bad at understanding and seeing things sometimes, is will sometimes to bad things and have to fix because is not know.
But! Bart is can promise one thing. Is can and WILLS do betters!
And hopefully, maybe-- azorinne would is thinking about fixing barts head problems. Is would make this LOTS of better for everyones, and bart can maybe give foot rubs and back massages!!!
bart wanted to get scribe to is write this for him like befores, but is thought with how much is having done, is should give them break for one or twos.
...
bart will making sure to do better, is can promise that. Is might make mistakes in talking, which is harder to do then is bloodshed... but is can make sure those mistakes is fixed as soon as possibles!!!
bart will make sure to bring peoples to light and is shine happiness upons them!!! yays!!!!
Bartholameu, as it stands
Added Thu Apr 24 11:26:24 2025 at level 51:
Bart is not understanding of things. He is talk to sumae, and is being shown things by sumae like hurting people that hurting him and friends, but is find that is cannot tap into his magic energies any longers!
Bart not understand! Is want nothing but is protecting innocents and bringing smiles to all faces, so why is bart punishing such? Is hurt barts heart... he is know is do good for world and is will beings happy.
Bart very saddening is... only wantings good for world and nothing elses, so why is treated so badly by everyones?
Leokas, cucko, jkoo... they is treat bart so badly... they is treat him like bad when he is trying to make up for things and understanding is...
Bart is maybe having to talk to skreenak abouts this... is seemed to liking bart and such... is was happy when handshake and tell bart to is kill person that made bart and friends die... maybe is can give bart guidance.
for now, bart will is talk to Sumaes, and Yahkira. maybe is Brembli and inn peoples toos! They is seem love bat, and quite frankly... bart lovings them!
Barts further understanding!
Added Thu Apr 24 11:31:05 2025 at level 51:
Bart is will put his current morals and thinkings down here, for alls to knows!
Bart is love helping people and guiding them. He is will be light that shines when people cannot seeing, and will be happy to shows.
Bart does not like murdering peoples... he is want keeping all safes and tights and not in pains if is can while arounding peoples...
but bart will put foot down when is see innocent people arounding him hurts! Is will making sure of thats, as much as cans.
bart is will not changing his morals, is always has been same and will is continue be same, is thinking. Will is still be good loving person that bart can be, even if that means not murdering and being shown things by Sumaes!
bart love all, will continue to love all and hate VERY few. Will is make sureing stay true to self... but is feel like is can be okays standing up for selfs mores.
Einoh
Added Thu Apr 24 12:27:09 2025 at level 51:
Bart has talked to Einoh recently, after falling out with his heart did happening.
Einoh is say things to bart, but bart is confused... they is say things to bart that not making senseings at alls to him...
Bart know Einoh is trying to say that bart cannot is make every bad persons into good... but bart knows is can!
Bart is knows is have ways of bringing out goodening in peoples, and will is continuing to doings so. Bart love lots is.
Bart is know that, for examples that Einoh said, people that kill innocent ones should be comdemned... but bart is know that is simple killing cannot fixing all things, especially in this world.
Bart is know that is need to kill their spirit-- is need to bring them down as much as cans, if want to do good. Bart is having dealt with people hating him whole life for how is talk... is having tough skin more than anyone knowings!!!
Bart is also know, that words is not create goodness. Howevers!!! bart has made bad bad people do good things around him! he has made innocent lives not be losting because of his intervention, even sumae said thats!!!
and that is good! If bart never talked to Sumaes, and instead killed Sumaes... or died tryings... Sumae would just kill bart and friends MORES! and innocent people when bart not arounds!
Bart IS can create goodness through his words. he WILL is make bad people do good things. They is need to have morals like he is does! And good peoples toos... everyones!!! They is need to be TRUE purity!
is NO innocent lives losting. is no murdering without talkings. People is need to be more civils, is more open... and bart will helping with that, is will make SURE of its, even if having to die tryings.
Bart will do his best, is just... feel empty, saddeningness. But is very happy Einoh is talking to help, althogh is not knowing about them to muches... but hopes can give hug and backrub next time see!
PK Wins
Mar 31, 2025|Lv 28|Graveyard|Pionice vs 2: [26] Keyonius (6%), [28] Bartholameu (93%, claw)
Apr 3, 2025 |Lv 38|Fortress of Light|Salieseri vs 2: [38] Bartholameu (41%), [35] Aethel (58%, searing light)
Apr 3, 2025 |Lv 38|The Redhorn Mountains|Yuza vs 2: [35] Aethel (20%, wrath), [38] Bartholameu (79%)
Apr 3, 2025 |Lv 38|The Inn of the Eternal Star|Yuza vs 1: [38] Bartholameu (100%, crush)
Apr 3, 2025 |Lv 38|The Inn of the Eternal Star|Yuza vs 2: [35] Aethel (71%, crush), [38] Bartholameu (28%)
Apr 4, 2025 |Lv 38|The Inn of the Eternal Star|Yuza vs 1: [38] Bartholameu (0%, crush)
Apr 8, 2025 |Lv 46|Northern Foothills|Salieseri vs 2: [40] Aethel (22%), [46] Bartholameu (77%, color spray)
Apr 8, 2025 |Lv 46|Fortress of Light|Salieseri vs 2: [46] Bartholameu (50%), [40] Aethel (49%, cleave)
Apr 11, 2025|Lv 49|Fortress of Light|Tathamety vs 1: [49] Bartholameu (100%, wrath)
Apr 12, 2025|Lv 51|Voralian City|Pionice vs 4: [51] Gorvynox (34%), [51] Yahkira (39%, poison), [40] Keyonius (25%), [51] Bartholameu (0%)
Apr 14, 2025|Lv 51|Akan|Marizar vs 2: [51] Bartholameu (16%), [38] Zoivuit (83%, bludgeoning)