Role
Childhood
Added Thu Dec 15 13:25:42 2022 at level 11:
Bellas, a shortened form of his true name Be'ellassanall'an, originated from Darsylon. He was born
into a noble house, raised in the traditions of his people, and probably would have lived a normal
high elven life of leisure and comfort, were it not for being kidnapped by a human brigand when he
was a child. Bellas was out in the forest playing with his friends by a pond they frequented, and
the brigand, whose name was Finneas, had hatched a plan to kidnap an elven child and extort the
family for gold. Finneas knew that the elves were quite wealthy, and to his understanding also
were gentle and not overly attached to material things. He had only met a few elves in his life, but
they always seemed above violence. He assumed they would pay a ransom for their child with little
trouble. He was mistaken. Bellas was the target of this kidnapping by sheer bad luck, as he just
happened to be the one the Finneas grabbed when he executed his plan. Finneas hid the child away
and contacted the family to arrange for payment. However, when the brigand showed up to receive his
payment, he found the elves ready for battle instead! They chased Finneas, who narrowly escaped with
his life. With no chance at getting paid, Finneas had to decide what to do with Bellas. Release the
boy? Kill him? Finneas didn't like either of those options, because they did not benefit him
financially. That's when it struck him that he could keep the boy and raise him as his own. Surely
having an elf around could be beneficial in many situations, and the boy was young enough that he
could be trained to do Finneas's bidding. And so, Bellas was taken from his people and raised by
a human on the streets of Galadon.
Adolescence
Added Wed Dec 21 11:41:30 2022 at level 25:
Finneas raised Bellassan as his own, which involved teaching the boys his unsavory ways and using
his for his criminal schemes. Bellassan also acted as Finneas's personal housekeeper, making food,
cleaning up, etc. And average day for Bellassan under Finneas's care would be practicing "the art
of the grift," in which Bellassan would try to convince a stranger of some lie, usually a sad
story to motivate that stranger to either give Bellassan some coin or to distract them while
Finneas picked their pockets or invaded their home. Fenneas tried to teach Bellas how to pick
pockets himself, but Bellas lacked the subtlety for it and was far more gifted at acting and
being a distraction. This behavior had become quite ingrained in Bellassan as he grew older, and
Finneas began to take in other boys, orphans and street urchins, to train up as well. Bellas
helped to teach these children how to lie, steal, and victimize. It was a way of life.
The Pull of the Light
Added Wed Dec 21 12:01:03 2022 at level 25:
Bellassan did not know any way other than what he was taught by his pseudo-father, Finneas, but
in his heart there was always conflict, a yearning. He could barely define this feeling, but it
was as if there was a small flame inside of him that would not go out, no matter how hard he tried
to ignore it. That flame was his conscience, telling him that the things that he and his "family"
were doing was wrong. He had never had direction in morals (his barely-remembered early childhood
in Darsylon now seemed like a dream), but his heart knew right from wrong regardless. There was a
pull toward the light; a light he had never known in his actual life.
-
One day when he and Finneas were going through the belongings of one of their victims, a case of
clothing and papers that Finneas had stolen from a traveler while Bellas did his usual distraction
of the poor, lost elven boy, Bellas came across a book that caught his eye. The book was entitled
"Tales of the Knights of Thera" and on the cover was a well-drawn figure of an armored figure
surrounded by a corona of light. Bellas didn't know why, but the book called to him immediately
and he deftly secreted it away in his clothing before Finneas could notice. When he was alone, he
read through the book. It was tales of heroes and heroines of a grand order, who upheld the light
in Thera. The stories were of people protecting the innocent, striking at the heart of evil, and
trying to bring peace to the land. It was all quite the opposite of what he and his "family" did
daily. The book even spoke of people who lied and stole from others, and how the Knights of Thera
would stop them.
-
From reading this book (which he did over and over, until he had it virtually memorized), Bellas
came to fully grasp what his heart had been telling him all along. He yearned to be like the
heroes in this book, but his daily actions proved that he was actually more like the villains.
Writing His Own Story
Added Wed Dec 21 12:43:33 2022 at level 25:
From the moment Bellassan read the book about The Knights of Thera, he was drawn to any other
material about heroes of the light. He also began actively working in his own life to emulate
the heroes in the books. His work with Finneas became less reliable, as Bellassan would do subtle
things to sabotage their cons and tip off the would-be victims. Bellas had collected a hidden
stash of reading material, subjects ranging from the old Knights of Thera to The Golden Fortress.
In his mind, he imagined that he could one day join the Fortress himself, and act as an Acolyte
of the Golden Sun. His reading about these heroes and moral philosophies had made him realize
just the amount of damage he had done under Finneas's guidance, and he longed to do something to
make up for it. He wanted to be the protector, the shield of the innocent, like the heroes in his
stories.
-
Bellas also started saving up coin as he was able, stashing away what he could find within the
floorboards of his room, along with the reading material he had collected. He planned to save up
enough to make an escape. Finneas was a skilled manipulator, and had convinced Bellas that the
city of Galadon was more dangerous and hostile to the poor than anyone could handle alone, and
without Finneas to protect him, Bellas would be homeless, imprisoned, or worse. And so, Bellas
was forced to continue in his criminal endeavors, now knowing full well how much he loathed it,
screaming inside to stop.
-
To help combat his cognitive dissonance, Bellas began teaching the other boys the moral codes of
The Golden Sun. His idea was to gradually move the "family" away from criminal enterprise,
undermining Feanneas's plans from within as he and the other boys sabotaged the cons. He even
lead the boys on trips into the city he called "Righteousness Expeditions" where they would try to
find people in need and help them in some way. It was kind of silly, but he was trying to make
steps toward righting his wrongs and guiding himself toward a more moral path.
A Clean Break
Added Sat Dec 24 15:47:04 2022 at level 41:
Bellas thought all of the other kids in his "family" would find his attempts to sabotage Finneas
and aid the light as desirable as he did. He was very naive. He was never sure exactly which one of
the other boys did it, but word did get back to Finneas about Bellassan's little excursions, and
Finneas was not pleased. One of the other boys, a Dwarf named Bokrit, really looked up to Bellas and
it was well known that the two were close. Finneas decided the best punishment for Bellas was to take
out his frustration on Bokrit, in front of the other boys, letting them know that Bellas had brought
this upon the child.
-
Finneas began to beat the Dwarven child, and a great anguish built up in Bellas and a determination.
Bellas threw himself between Finneas and Bokrit, shielding the other boy with his body. Finneas had
no other choice but to beat Bellas instead, which he did with a fervor. Bellas never let go of
Bokrit, even as he lay barely conscious, bleeding on the floor. Bellas looks back on this event
now as the first time he was the shield for the innocent, and his first true step toward being
worthy of the Golden Tower.
-
Finneas threw Bellas out of his home, banishing him from the "family." Bellas wandered the streets
of Galadon, penniless and with nothing but the clothes on his back. But, he did have the skills that
he practiced at Finneas's side, his showmanship, his acting ability. He put those to use, and
began performing on the street for spare change. He had various acts, all comedies. He would cleverly
banter with the crowd, throwing jokes around to make people laugh. The jokes were always of a good
nature, never cruel. He made enough coin to keep himself fed this way, and honed his craft as a
comedian. That time in his life, though it was the hardest, was probably the time when he grew the
most, out of necessity.
An Actor's Life for Me
Added Sat Dec 24 16:33:54 2022 at level 41:
Being a homeless street performer might have been great for personal growth, but it had no tangible
long-term pay-off, as any homeless street performer will tell you. Fortunately, Bellas was good
enough that he eventually caught the attention of a local producer of theater, and music instructor,
by the name of Zerena Ocasis. Zerena was immediately intrigued by this elven boy who spoke in the
rough manner of a human street urchin, but whose comedic shows successfully captivated audiences as
they made their way about their various errands in Galadon. After attending several of Bellas's
"shows," she decided to approach him and offer to take him on as a student. Bellas has never
expected anything to come of his street performance, other than coin, and was awed that such a person
would even notice him. He accepted, and began the life of an apprentice bard.
-
Being an apprentice bard is hard work, and Bellas learned all the skills needed to perform plays
and music. He also learned about the hierarchy of command, even though he was already quite familiar
with it from his "family" with Finneas. But what is truly important is that during this period in
his life, he continued his pursuit of any information he could find about The Knights of Thera and
The Fortress of the Golden Sun. He studied his bardic skills hard, but never lost sight of his true
dream: to one day emulate the heroes of the stories he read.
Character Traits and Personality
Added Sat Dec 24 16:44:50 2022 at level 41:
Bellassan is a jovial person, nearly perpetually cheery. He is constantly joking, is rarely serious
(though he is capable). In fact, he uses humor to a degree that might seem inappropriate in many
circumstances. He might joke in situations when he should be serious or reverent. As a result, he
sometimes clashes with authority. This is not intentional for him, he simply doesn't know where to
draw the line with his humor.
-
This also goes for battle and physical conflict. He will often joke with enemies, trying to get
into their heads or to change their hearts about him. This does not always reflect his true feelings
about a person. He might be frightened, planning someone's downfall, etc. but still be joking with
them. Jokes are both a tool and a defense mechanism for Bellassan.
-
-
The following traits should always apply:
-
* Comedy, comedy, comedy. To the point of being annoying? Yes.
* Generally not the aggressor in conflict
* Will never back down if protecting someone
* A perfectionist when it comes to music. Wants to perfect every song.
* Plays up his lack of knowledge, for various reasons (one being genuine lack of knowledge)
The consequences of war
Added Tue Jan 3 23:16:59 2023 at level 51:
Bellassan was granted a vision by The Gods, in which he saw the dessicated corpses of two
people within a home in Barovia. The pointed accusing fingers at him, calling his name.
He thought back to many year previous, after his induction into The Fortress, when he
was ambushed in the village by an Imperial Frost Giant warrior. Bellassan had fought
the giant, and was forced to flee, but in the process Bellassan's music had taken
the lives of the villagers who lived in a home there.
Bellassan travelled to the village to revisit the scene. In speaking with the people who
lived there, he found out the home was never "clean" and had a smell to it that could not be
eliminated. He spoke to the folks there about the incident years before, and it seemed
as though the spirits of the dead would not rest until an atonement was made. The villagers
asked for some flowers, the fragrance of which might wash away the smell of death, and
the offering that might put the souls to rest. Bellassan did as they suggested, and offered a
prayer to the gods for forgiveness.
Bellassan then wrote a missive to the rest of The Fortress letting them know of this experience
and the resulting revelations it brought him. Namely: that the "small people" of Thera
are the ones who The Fortress protects. They are the reason Bellassan, all of those years ago,
collected stories about the great heroes and longer to himself be a shield for the
innocent. It was not to be involved in inter-cabal warfare, it was not to protect the Maran.
No. It was to protect the people he knew from the streets who lived under the boot heels
of evil. And it was those self-same people he had harmed in this incident, hardly noticed in
the heat of the moment.
"If at the end of our grand battles, we stand victorious over the smoking remains of
those we sought to protect, then we do not serve the light at all, but only an illusion
of the light," he wrote. He vowed from that day forward to be far more mindful of the harm
he might do in the name of battle.
Care not always enough
Added Wed Jan 4 01:43:40 2023 at level 51:
Whilst attempting to rout an evil sea captain, Bellassan readied a powerful song, only
to have the sea captain throw him off the ship just as the song began. On the dock:
innocent young adventurers who walked in the light. They shall walk no more.
What Bellassan learned from this is to expect evil to try to use him as a weapon
even against those he tries to defend. To prevent that, he must be even more vigilant
and keep all harmful music to himself in situations where he is not 100% certain an innocent
could arrive suddenly.
Thoughts on Good and Evil
Added Wed Jan 4 20:29:31 2023 at level 51:
From the journal of Be'ellassanall'an, dated
32nd of the Month of the Dragon in the year 438
A young Duergar approached me recently, asking me the question, "If I am such a paragon
of the Light, would I give one such as him food if he was starving?" My answer at the the time
was, yes of course I would. I give mercy to even my foes, and would not strike down a
person who is helpless. It is in this way that I act as an example to the world, and hopefully
sway dark hearts toward the light.
While I am certain the question was a ruse designed to make me doubt my own commitment or
legitimacy as a Scribe, it did make me think. I have pondered the question now for some time, and
have some additional thoughts. It brought to mind a world in which light and dark were an
aspect only of our actions. A world in which the Gods do not take an active hand, allowing
all of us (humans, elves, duergar, gnomes, etc) to choose our own paths. A world is which
the races are created with no affiliation in their ancestries, their hearts, their very souls.
Perhaps in this world, an orc would not be shaped as a horrible mockery of elfdom, but would
simply be born into the world with a clear mind, ready to be guided toward light or darkness.
We do not live in that word.
No. The Gods have shaped this world to be what it is, and the red auras of Darkness I have
been empowered to see rarely reflect choices. In the case of this Duergar, for excample, his
fate was chosen for him by his heritage, and my giving him bread when he is hungry is unlikely
to sway him. Are there those who are born into darkness who strive toward the light?
Undoubtedly. But are those individuals swayed toward such by simple acts of kindness by the
likes of silly bards? Hm... I find it naive the think so.
I did not get to the rank in my guild that I have attained by sitting idle. Many a dark-
hearted foe has fallen at my feet. Many of those might have gone on to breed other dark kin.
Did they choose their lot? No. The Gods chose it for them. But this is the world in which we
live. One can rage against the Gods for shaping it so, but what is the good in that? All one
can do is to play their part, like the actor on the stage. I have not seen one born into evil
turn to light. I have simply not. This duergar would be welcome to my bread, as that is my
nature, but I think it says less about me than it does about The Light, if that makes sense.
Meeting with Azorinne
Added Fri Jan 6 13:23:16 2023 at level 51:
Bellassan met with Azorinne, and she elevated him to full Acolyte status. This was done so
probationally, as he had a few accidents with area effect songs that had caused good
aligned people to die, even somewhat recently.
Bellassan had never met with a deity before, and those of course he fully understood
that they were real and active and shaping the world, being in the presence of one
is a much different story. In the aftermath of the meeting, he feels conflicted.
Bellassan is a self-doubting person by nature, and the trust given to him as an
Acolyte is both an honor and a burden, which he feels is the appropriate way to view
such a role anyway. But more-so, because he does not feel worthy of it.
But aside from his feelings about the role of the Acolyte, there is the larger LIFE
question of his role as an elf in the land. He had always given lip-service to
his own faith, as a follower of Einoh, but had never really dedicated himself to
the deity behind the faith. It was a set of precepts to follow, a guide for which
to base his actions. He had not really thought of Einoh as... well, real. Not
real in the sense that he could seek out and speak to the deity personally. That
seemed too big for a homeless child from the streets of Galadon.
But he is realizing he is not that child anymore. Life is long, and our past is
only where we begin. He will have to think on this more.
Honor Among Emenies
Added Sun Jan 8 22:53:30 2023 at level 51:
From the journal of Be'ellassanall'an, dated 13th of the Month of the Old Forces in the year 439
The creature Nunthdhrag puzzles me. He is by all accounts a despicable, foul orc marked by the Gods
as evil. Irredeemable. And yet, of all the creature and people I have met in this land, he is
one of the most honorable. It causes me to question my own notions regarding honor, in relation to
Light and Dark. I have seen some of my own brethren here in the Fortress act is ways I would
consider dishonorable, especially regarding the acquisition of things. I know the Maran value
items more than I do, but it can come across as petty at times.
Conversely, the foul orc, Nunthdhrag, has shown pity, refrained from greed, and largely seems to
hold himself to a high standard of honor. Were it not for his plentiful other disgusting acts, and
taken by itself, I might think him admirable in a way. I suppose honor is not necessarily an
attribute of the Light.
It is interesting to think about. The Gods have given us multiple ways to discern those who
dwell in the darkness. I do not question that. But perhaps some of our notions of what makes a
soul Light or Dark, based upon behavior alone, could use some examination. And if those of us who
claim supremacy in the Light can be outshone by those who clearly and abhorrently dwell in the
darkness when it comes to honor, perhaps we need to rethink some of our practices.
It is something I shall think about long and hard.
Speaking of which, it has been some time since I have visited the brothels of Hamsah Mu'Tazz...
<journal entry continues, edited for brevity>
Eye-opening Experience
Added Mon Jan 9 03:19:23 2023 at level 51:
From the journal of Be'ellassanall'an, dated:
35th of the Month of the Old Forces in the year 439
I traveled with Lady Arietta today, a Wood-Elf maiden of the Village. Batteragers, I believe they
call themselves. Well, it was a life-changing experience. I know the joke will be made, in
fact already has been made, that Bellassan is in love! Haha! Well... perhaps in a matter of speaking
this is true. She is an amazing warrior. Watching her fight made me realize, as if I did not
already, how little I know. Battle is not my forte. I am a singer, songwriter, performer, dancer..
somewhat. Well, when I am not too far into my cups anyway. But! The aspect of battle is certainly
an area where I know I need instruction and improvement.
The lady was able to give me some instruction. It was life-changing, and I do not exaggerate here.
Some songs function differently than I thought they did. Strategically, it will change the
entire way I approach combat. My guildmasters have been negligent fools! I feel betrayed by
the bard college. And all of that gold I paid toward tuition, too.
Ah well.
It is now my fondest dream to one day be as fierce and competent as the Lady Arietta. I can
hardly describe how lithe and swift her movements were. How strong and passionate her voice. It
was like reading tales from my youth of the great Elven maidens of yore. I would write a song
if I did not know I would fail at it so utterly and embarrass myself and her in the process. No!
I shall hold this memory in my heart, and try to be more like her in the future. That is the best
way to proceed.
Thoughts on Redemption Part 1
Added Mon Jan 9 18:43:51 2023 at level 51:
From the journal of Be'ellassanall'an, dated:
4th of the Month of the Grand Struggle in the year 439
Aerithas approached me today with a moral question: at what point do we offer
mercy and try to redeem our adversaries rather than simply slaying them? He
gave the example of an average Imperial Blade. Should we approach that person
and try to sway them toward the Light? Is part of our duty here to not only
exterminate the Darkness, protect the light... but also to convert Darkness to
Light?
An interesting question.
I showed reluctance toward the idea, and Aerithas argued his point. He is
quite strong-willed and connected to his faith, some of many qualities I
admire in him. He is a person who inspires me to try to better myself. But as
much as I can be whimsical, on this subject I find myself quite coldly
pragmatic. In exploring why I am so resistant to the idea of "redeeming the
dark-hearted," I realize it likely has much to do with my past.
Though he is long in his grave now, Finneas (my captor and I suppose what you
could call my surrogate father) was given many opportunities in his life to
change. The last of which, possibly, was a direct discussion with me many
years after I had entered the bardic school and was not under his thumb. I
wanted to believe that anyone, especially a human who is not marked by the
Gods at birth, could be swayed.
But his soul had been touched by Darkness. I did not have the senses I do now
to see it tangibly, nor the experience of witnessing angels and demons and the
truest manifestations of Light and Dark in our lands, but I felt it even then.
He was the sort of man who would tell you that he feels sorry for the wrongs
he committed against you even while he picked your pocket. And while I do not
believe that all those dark of heart are the same, I have seen echoes of
Finneas in many, or even most, of the foes I have faced over the years as I
have travelled the land.
To be connected to Darkness in that way is much like my own connection to The
Light. If one of The Dark approached me and tried to sway me over to his ideas
(as was very much the case throughout my youth), would I ever be swayed? No
matter how convincing the argument, would I consider it for the barest second?
NO. I would not. It feels egotistical in the extreme to believe that my own
powers of persuasion would have that impact on one equally connected to their
own opposing beliefs. How can I stand steadfast, as I do, against the Darkness
and yet believe that our connection to the The Light or The Dark is flexible
and fragile?
Thoughts on Redemption Part 2
Added Mon Jan 9 18:46:23 2023 at level 51:
Does this mean that I don't believe those of the Dark can be redeemed? Not at
all. What I believe is that it will be our examples, and not our words, that
might spark something in one of the dark to question. But if so, that Dark one
will come to the question of their own accord. And the only reason I believe
even that much is because I have heard it has happened before. It is rare,
very very rare.
So my answer, in the end, to the question posed by Aerithas is this: When do
we offer the open hand of mercy instead of the fist? When they reach out and
ask for it. And even then, I would approach the situation with a good deal of
skepticism. I would see that Dark one kneel down in prayer before the altar of
Lady Azorinne before I would believe a word of their tale. I have seen, too
often, the lies and machinations of the Darkness to be nave on the subject. I
lived it for too many years.
I suppose, as an Acolyte, many must believe that I am a soft heart, one who
would preach peace over war, one who feels each soul has boundless potential
to embrace the Light. But while I have met and admire those who believe such
things (Lady Gralker comes to mind), that is not who I am. I believe that the
war we fight here is necessary, that though Light is greater than Darkness and
will overcome, the balance is very thin indeed. Some might see this as
unbefitting of an Acolyte, but I do not think so. I have been charged with the
duty of protecting the Light, and my Maran brethren specifically. I have been
charged with making sure our order does not become that which we fight
against. But there is a long way between that and handing out pamphlets to the
dark hearted in hopes that they will change their vile ways.
Though I greatly respect Aerithas and his faith, and of course Lady Azorinne
Herself, I am not an adherent to Her faith. I do not plan to offer her a Vow.
I have always been an adherent to the precepts of Lord Einoh. One would think
that Healing and Mercy are very compatible concepts, but in my mind they can
also be complete opposites when approached with Reason. I do think mercy is a
positive trait, generally, and if redemption is the ultimate form of mercy
then surely it is worthwhile to pursue as dictated by reason. But in the
opinion of this humble bard, it is rarely dictated by reason within the
confines of the daily war we fight with Darkness.
In summary, I believe in mercy and possibly redemption for those who seek it,
that seeking it must be the catalyst, and that mercy is conditional upon
actions taken toward redemption.
Raising Expectations, the Passing of Gralker
Added Tue Jan 10 21:18:10 2023 at level 51:
From the journal of Be'ellassanall'an, dated:
24th of the Month of the Dragon in the year 439
Gralker, my long-time friend and mentor, has passed from the world. It was
somewhat expected, as she had been convinced of her passing for some time now,
due to age and... well, she was very spiritual. Perhaps she could sense it
better than I, a silly poet. But in the end, she achieved her dream of facing
the Dragon Queen, Tiamat! I would love to say it was a glorious battle, but I
took one look at the dragon queen and ran for my life like a frightened child.
I shall carry shame with me, along with my other shames of which there are a
few it seems. But in truth, I believe Gralker intended to fall on that
battlefield, and perhaps facing it alone was a comfort to a giving spirit like
hers.
In her passing, Adozo reminded me that I am now the sole remaining Acolyte of
The Fortress. I am to be looked upon now, more than ever, as a guiding force
within the ranks of the Scribes. I feel sorry for them, led by a foolish drunk
who sometimes gets lost in the hills outside of The Fortress, but I shall of
course do my very best. Perhaps I might even drink less wine and ale. I shall
give it some thought.
My heart sits heavy within my chest, and my thoughts are a jumble. Would that
I could turn to my mentor to discuss this, but she is gone now and I must grow
to be my own mentor I suppose. Like a baby bird, I am to be pushed from the
cozy nest to either fly or fall.
Perhaps I shall rise like the Phoenix itself, on the winds of sorrow. Yes. Let
us pretend that will be he case. As my acting instructor once said, "If you
cannot believe yourself in a role, nobody else will either!" Enter, stage
right, a dashing, handsome (very) elf in shining armor, pious but not preachy
about it. No! Not he. He is the type of man that others look up to, but he
does not look down upon them.
I will work on that.
Njaldof, a Favor
Added Wed Jan 11 02:05:25 2023 at level 51:
Njaldof asked me a favor, to slay a particular goblin in the forest, for gear of course. I
knew the giant was dark of heart, but I am trying to learn from my betters and believe in
redemption. I told the young one I would do this favor for him if he would do me a favor at
a later date. It is an open-ended offer. You never know... this young giant could become
important in a way where my influence could subvert a dark plan, or perhaps he could be
brought to the light. In truth, I do not know what I will ask of this one. But, having the
option seemed wise at the time.
A Fool and His Eveything are Soon Parted
Added Thu Jan 12 00:09:38 2023 at level 51:
From the journal of Be'ellassanall'an, dated:
29th of the Month of the Dark Shades in the year 439
I have decided to retire from this life of daring, and step down as an Acolyte
of the Golden Sun. I have let myself down enough times over the years, one
would think I would be used to it. But no. The sting is ever greater no matter
how often it comes. And I fear that now, with so much responsibility and
expectation upon me, I cannot bear to taint the the Fortress I have longed to
be a part of my entire life.
I feel very fortunate to have been able to enter there, to experience what it
would be like to be such a brave bastion of all that is Light and Holy and
Good! But I knew from the beginning that I was not worthy in those halls. I
fear I took advantage of those good and loving people, who wished to see me
for what I desired to become rather than what I am. And what am I? Just a
foolish, drunken comedian from the streets of Galadon who has honed his art to
the degree that even the best of the land are fooled.
Well, shame on me. My dreams are not more important than The Golden Fortress
or the position of Acolyte that I was granted. The Lady Azorinne saw me for
what I am, one struggling to be the paragon I needed to be and failing. But
She believed in me! And I, as is my truest nature, have let Her down.
Well, there is nothing for it. I have made my decision. I believe I shall
return to Darsylon, where I know my family still resides. I have seen them,
but have stayed away. For what reason? I do not feel I belong, I suppose. An
elf with no grasp of his own people's true spirit. They are proud and strong,
while I am... well I am me. But perhaps they will accept me, and perhaps I can
learn. I must try. For otherwise, I am a ship without a port.
I lave this journal here. Perhaps someone will find it, and know my truest
intentions, my struggles, and my thoughts. If so, dearest reader, you have
meant more to me than you will ever know. Fare thee well!