Description
A very large, very fat man dressed in a filthy, brown, monk's habit stands
here. His cheeks and jowls sag with their weight, and his lips glisten with
saliva and some of the grease of his last meal. His hair is black, lank and
medium length. His eyes appear droopy, as if he's on the way to sleeping,
but the eyes underneath sparkle with intelligence. When they pass over you,
you feel as if you're being appraised.
The only other part of him uncovered are his hands, which are the size of
small hams and as marbled with fat. Hanging from the rope belt of his habit
are carving implements of many types and sizes. From meat cleavers to
filleting knives, everything one would need to dress and butcher an animal.
You eventually notice the blood stains and viscera covering the habit and
the wafting stench that comes from the man, marking him as more of an
abattoir worker than a man of the cloth.
Role
A Divine Barbecue
Added Mon Jan 5 04:35:08 2026 at level 10:
As he went about his nights work, Gulguos always carried and consumed
monstrous bags of food. Truth be told, it was where all his coin went. Bags of
salted pork rinds or sticky sweets, he loved and craved it all. His partner at
the mortuary house couldn't understand how he could handle the recently dead
and then use the same hands to shovel food into his giant mouth. What he
didn't understand was Gulguos didn't really have an alternative. Not really.
It was, in the truest sense of the word, a vice.
"Hmmm, I've got a hunger deep in my pit and nothing left to fill it," spoke
Gulguos as they hefted another body from the wagon, "it's going to be a
MISERABLE night for Gulguous." That was the other thing his partner couldn't
understand, the constant externalising of his thoughts. "You've eaten a half a
chicken and two candied apples since we started, I think you'll be fine".
"He thinks I'll be fine! Tiny little thing like him, telling ME about the satiation of appetites! Looks like he's never filled his stomach."
Gulguous' partner straightened up at that, dropping the body, they'd been
carrying. "Listen you fat load..", he cut off as the body rolled from both
their hands, rolled into their oil lantern and shattered it against a nearby
rock. The oil and the body, going up in a smokey, acrid blaze.
"Look what you've done now! You've gone and wrecked our lantern," cried Gulguous. "You've gone and...", he sniffed the air, "...lit the barbecue?" Gulguous, with a speed that belied his size hunched down and tore a piece of the now charred flesh
"My....my god, Gulguous! This is too much, even for you! This is SINFUL! The
local bailiff will hear of this!" His partner, hand to mouth and stomach,
barely controlling his gag reflex began to stride away. Gulguous, eyes and
senses now alive to the amount of flesh around him and the living sack walking
away that could take it all away, moved quickly again. He picked up the rock
the lantern had been dashed on and threw it truly, striking his partner in the
back of the head. He fell, senseless to the ground. Gulguous waddled over to
him and looked down, the eyes wide with horror, blood starting to ooze from
the nose. "Hrmmm, I wonder what it tastes like....fresh."
Discovering the Church
Added Mon Jan 5 04:36:45 2026 at level 10:
Now where did Gulguous the fat, now cannibal from here? He had discovered the
taste for flesh. He knew he had to have more. And more. He hadn't lost his
greed for food of any kind, but he also wouldn't give up the chance to taste
flesh from any source. Forbidden or not. Consequences be damned!
Leaving the mortuary that night, he stole the habit of a monk from the nearby
chapel. He soon found he could get himself a lot of access with that habit,
people took many things for granted assuming he was a man of the cloth. He
ransacked for food, sometimes coin, and, wherever he could, a stray piece of
flesh from the dead. Not brave enough yet to try murder. Again.
As he wandered the realm, not wanting to stay in once place too long for fear
of discovery. He began to attract the notice of other malevolent beings that
frequented the same places. Wanting to encourage the lad in ways they saw fit,
they took him in and began training him. With these skills, they said, he
would never want for flesh. While those in his village saw only a greedy, fat,
dunce, these new benefactors saw more of a....food motivated dog. Motivation
was a powerful thing, and it turned out, Gulguous was much sharper than he'd
appeared before he was properly incentivised.
While he might have been mistaken for slow, perhaps slothful, his gluttony
drove him into action. Where there is something sweet, salty or untasted
flesh, he moved decisively and feasted uncontrollably. It was one day, while
still a very young man learning his craft, that he stumbled into a strange
church at the back of a cemetery. Churches often had foods, of all kinds, but
this one seemed different. More homely to Gulguous. He was drawn to the
materials inside and began to read.
As he did so, a smiled appeared on his greasy mouth. Growing, wider and wider
as he read on. Occasionally he gave a low rumble of a chuckle. What he found
in those materials spoke deeply to him. Before he tasted of flesh, he had been
a pariah. A fat fool, worthy only of the most menial tasks. But he had been
misjudged. What he was, was enlightened. Why were those around him fighting
their desire to feast as he did? What value was there in that? It was a gift.
He grew, he thrived, he ENJOYED.
He came to realise the barbecued flesh was no accident. There had been a
divine hand in his enlightenment. A benevolent force bringing him to the
flock.
"Praise be to you, Lord Morius", he said through a grin of ecstasy.
The Carnivorous Compendium of Gulgous
Added Sun Jan 25 13:06:52 2026 at level 28:
Elf, Conjurer and Paladin
Delicate flesh without strength, should be cooked with care to avoid it
breaking down in the pan. The taste is incredibly sweet and will benefit from
the addition of the flavours of acid, sour or spice.
Personal tasting notes - This is not my favoured choice of meat, given its
sugary notes, but I can see experimenting with it in spiced dishes to bring
out the best. The paladin is perhaps not worth bothering with, it was sweet to
the point of being unrefined. Minced and fed to small children may be a good
solution.
Felar, Ranger
Stringy flesh with fat and sinews to break down, it is best used in stews or
slow cooked in the ashes of a fire overnight. However, the taste has much
potential. It is gamey, not dissimilar to eating a rabbit. Or a....cat. This
one likely fed off the land, influencing its flavour.
Personal tasting notes - I cooked this specimen up quickly to burn off the
disease I'd inflected it with, leading it to be rather chewy but the taste was
still fine. I would like the time to experiment with a slow smoked haunch of
felar. This one, I suspect, had some extra flavour due being a village
applicant. The blind rage no doubt affects the meat in a very positive way.
Svirfneblin, Warrior
Firm, deep red flesh, almost purple. This meat can be cooked through in many
different dish styles but is best enjoyed seared quickly, to give it a char,
and consumed near raw. It maintains the earthy quality of the raw specimen
with the char lifting the flavour pallet to a new level.
Personal tasting notes - I loved this, it could be a staple on any gastronomic
inn menu. Its uses are many (stews, sandwiches, curries) but with a fine
specimen like I was able to acquire, adulterating its flavour would be a sin
(the boring kind).
Storm Giant, Paladin
Large chunks of flesh, more akin to a sea dweller than one of the pastures.
Think seal or whale. The meat is very lean, but for the occasional seam of
good, pure fat running through. It can be barbecued, fried or eaten raw for
best results.
Personal tasting notes - Unfortunately the specimen I acquired was a paladin
of Zizaerix, making the meat a little boring and predictable. Nevertheless, I
consumed it raw in strips with generous salt to help lift. I would like to
find another to give it a true chance. Perhaps one of the village would give
it the hint of sinful rage that delights this travelling critic.
On Allies and the Great Feast
Added Wed Feb 18 02:29:37 2026 at level 40:
A page from Gulguos' personal diary. Written in flowing, looping cursive on
pages spattered with grease, blood and other gore.
Many years have I travelled the lands now, sampling what it has to offer. If
only the simple-minded folk of my "home" could see how I've grown and swollen
over time. How surprised would they be at the dullard they'd written off?
I continue to find great solace in being of the Congregation of my Great
Father. What complicated lives must others lead? For me, because of Him, the
way is brightly lit. I live my life only through the desires of my heart. The
only way to stray, is to not be truly in my own moment. To subjugate my own
happiness to someone or something else's. What could be simpler?
On my feasting, chocolate coated crickets were a highlight. For volume,
nothing compares with the steaks from Ayr'Trinil. I wonder how many times my
own considerable mass I've passed through? Nothing quite compares to the game
one has hunted oneself. But the lands grow more hostile to me, even as I grow
into my power. In my bid to sample the flesh of all Thera's heroes, I will
also turn to the carrion of my youth. Easier to find now, with my powers over
the dead. But still...
I. NEED. MORE. (double underlined)
To create the true feast of feasts, I need more power. I start to believe more
power will require allies. The simple-minded villagers are to be applauded for
their rage, a delightful rabble they are, but they multiply and stifle my sin
with theirs. The Outlanders creeping in the bushes harbor much hatred for me
to take joy in but to feast on them, I need more to cut them and their beasts
down.
I find myself, then, drawn to the Night. It is hard to ignore that the pit of
the Scions has so much to offer me, and the Church.
Darkness hides a multitude of Sin. In Eternal Darkness, there must be Eternal
Sin. For His glory and the freedom of all Therans, the Prophecy shall be
fulfilled.
At the coming of the Darkness, I shall host the Great Feast of Feasts, and He
shall be the guest of honor. When Night falls, all Therans will be at the
feast. At the table, or on it. Feast unending. Night everlasting. Praise be.
PK Wins
Jan 9, 2026 |Lv 21|Outside Hamsah Mu'tazz|Barafenias vs 1: [21] Gulguos (100%, pound)
Jan 23, 2026|Lv 27|Udgaard|Scorgax vs 1: [27] Gulguos (100%, burning, weeping sores)
Jan 23, 2026|Lv 27|Troglodyte Caverns|Fnognur vs 1: [27] Gulguos (100%, slash)
Jan 23, 2026|Lv 27|A Wagon-Marked Road|Ghaldron vs 2: [19] Hanri (3%), [27] Gulguos (96%, burning, weeping sores)
Jan 24, 2026|Lv 27|Arkham|Nasfera vs 1: [27] Gulguos (100%, burning, weeping sores)
Jan 24, 2026|Lv 28|Galadonian Settlement|Elion vs 1: [28] Gulguos (100%, punch)
Jan 25, 2026|Lv 28|Galadon|Hanri vs 1: [28] Gulguos (100%, burning, weeping sores)
Feb 27, 2026|Lv 42|Udgaard|Lorenthia vs 1: [42] Gulguos (100%, ) *Power Word Kill*
PK Deaths
Jan 7, 2026 |Lv 17|Voralian City|vs 1: [18] Caserque (100%, mental jolt)
Jan 7, 2026 |Lv 17|Evermoon Hollow|vs 1: [18] Caserque (100%, pound)
Jan 7, 2026 |Lv 17|Evermoon Hollow|Gulguos committed suicide
Jan 16, 2026|Lv 23|Udgaard|vs 2: [23] Ignuund (35%), [23] Jommbo (64%, cut)
Jan 21, 2026|Lv 26|Udgaard|vs 1: [26] Trakcus (100%, swing)
Jan 23, 2026|Lv 27|Galadon|vs 1: [30] Mrresky (100%, charge)
Jan 23, 2026|Lv 27|Arkham|vs 1: [28] Ghrumrum (100%, parting blow)
Jan 27, 2026|Lv 31|Mortorn|vs 1: [35] Mrresky (100%, claw)
Jan 29, 2026|Lv 33|The Grove|vs 1: [30] Ezaerwenn (100%, parting blow)
Jan 30, 2026|Lv 34|The Pass|vs 1: [33] Ezaerwenn (100%, magic)
Feb 1, 2026 |Lv 34|The Ruins of Ostalagiah|vs 1: [28] Jokuth (100%, parting blow)
Feb 3, 2026 |Lv 34|Udgaard|vs 1: [31] Jokuth (100%, stab)
Feb 9, 2026 |Lv 34|The Citadel of Ostalagiah|vs 1: [37] Nalzaar (100%, smash)
Feb 16, 2026|Lv 40|The Village of Azuremain|vs 1: [31] Varkesh (100%, brutal attack)