The Story o' Chickensteak, Gooseliver, an' Bad Petey.
Added Tue Apr 3 17:52:00 2007 at level 34:
So me an' Gooseliver (me? They called me Chickensteak, funny story), we was doin' this job, see? We was Bad Petey's right-wing guys, we was, an' we had the most importantest gig: we's was in charge-like o' gettin' the grub. Now, see, I'm personally a hexpert on the subject, since I did lotsa 'nutritionality procurification' on my owns, 'afore me an' Goosey joined up an' fell in with his brother, Bad Petey. Reason was Moms didn't have much copper any o' the time since Dad left, an' what with my twin sisters always screechin' their beaks, waitin' fer mom ta feed them, she didn't always have anythin' left over fer me. So I went an' got me own food, ran 'round on the streets o' our fair Arial City on me own. Food was pretty hard ta steal firstly off, but I got lots better at it. Bein' small an' quick an' quiet helps real good-like, ya know? Yeah, yeah, I know. Still kinda hold a grudge 'gainst Moms fer not feedin' me. I might be real respectable-like these days if things'd been a little different, ya know? Might be a... a... mage! Or a bard or somethin's. But ya don't hear me complainin. Didn't then, don't now. So's I was in an' out o' the Home fer bad lil' arials, but they never kept me in too long, an' the guards an' warden didn't not never beat me bad as the other guys. I'm a real charmer, ya know? So they usually did it for show, or to just get their kicks off. Later (a long time later. Like two years later.) I found out where they all lived an' robbed 'em blind, an' left a lil' somethin' in their food-stuff. All in good heart, ya know? What goes 'round comes 'round, ya see? Just keepin' the score a lil' even. Anyways, there was me an' Goosey. Goosey, he was one o' them real skinny birds wit' a huuuuuge neck. so Goosey he was. Natcherlly. He was a lil' skinnier an' a lil' slower than me (o' course!), so's I was the Big Boss on our jobs. We'd case Fabian's an' the bakery an' whatnot for, like, a whole FIFTEEN minutes, an' then make our pre-mediatated liftin' likes. We was real slick-like. So's one day, Goosey's brother, the affer-mentioned Bad Petey, he comes staggerin' down the alley to our hideout spot, where we've got some real good rolls, an' a few bugs me an' Goosey caught. Them crunchy lil' black ones. Love 'em. So he comes staggerin' an' swearin' and stinkin', an' he starts yellin' at us. An', get this, we can't understand a bloomin' word he's sayin', not fer all o' Qaledus' gold we can't! So's, 'ventually, once we're snickerin' at him real good-like, he hauls off an' kicks Goosey in the face. Cold-claws him. Well, I ain't gonna take none of that real easy, so I tripped the bastard, an' was gonna jump top of him, when he stabbed me in the wing wit' that real nasty dagger o' his. An' he sure knew how ta use it. I jes' remember seein' Goosey all bleedin' and croakin' and cawin', an Bad Petey swearin' an' screamin' an' me feelin real scared-likes, an when Petey reached for me neck to throttle me, I jes' opened me beak real wide-big-like, an' chomped the bastard. I's nearly choked, but I accidenterrally ate two o' his stinkin' fingers. Weirdest thing I ever did, I tells ya. But hey, now I don't mind eatin' chicken. Needless to say, things went south real bad. Petey started rollin' 'round like a big, j