Description
You see small, but tough built torso completed by head.
you can sharpen your vision and notice legs, but they seem
to be a rudiment, with only function left: carrying inproportionally
big body and head. Speaking about visible side: his body has
muscles, but has nothing in common with harmony. His right hand developed
Much better then left one. His huge head seems to be used to granulate
rocks, his nose is broken in several places, his eyes can barely seen amough
endless scars and wrinkles. Still his appearence fits the ones you call svirf
Role
leaving Cragstone
Added Tue Feb 26 00:35:48 2013 at level 11:
Since I was born, I remembermy father telling me: "learn on others mistakes,
kid, not on yours". And it was hard to argue since our people carry wisdom of
previous generations from birth. If you engage new business, this memory guides
you, making it allready familiar. So I lived my childhood accepting this way of
doing things: everything that I could do in Cragstone has been allready known
by me.
Of course, that was not the only things my father told me. In the evenings
he spoke a lot about the dangerous world outside of our Glorious City, about
Mighty Organizations that use people as tools to achive their goals, about
stupid nations that ignore their past and waste their lives doing same mistakes
again and again.
I felt on my own and according to random rumours about my father, that his
words have more behind, then only the experience of our ancestors. He tasted
outside world by himself and that experience ended paifully to him: my mother
died giving birth to me when he was travelling far away. So I had no reason not
to believe him, but still the feeling of unsatisfaction with my life was
growing inside me: you know, knowing that the pie is rotten is different from
tasting it.
So in the age of 60 i abandoned father's beliefs in me and left the Cragstone
towards the huge, cruel and unlogical outerworld.
rising questions
Added Wed Feb 27 10:52:25 2013 at level 27:
World outside was often proving fathers words, but from other side it was much
deeper. Even those who walked path of repeating mistakes was mostly happy and
satisfied people. I "touched" many people's fates though books, scientific
works, personally. And amoung them, the brightest was of humans. Curious by
nature, urged by short lives on, they manage to achieve more then others. And
every time I get to know another Glorious human, my hartbeat increases and my
hands tremble. But I am not a human and part of me rejects this way of life,
as many times I allready knew: they have chosen path of faulture. So I started
to analyse all this antagonisms inside me, and finnaly, they all formed in
simple questions: What i want to do? What will make me happy? Where I want me
to be? And how I will achieve that?
Last question is allready answeered. During my trip to The Planar Sanctum I was
greatly impressed by Pascimius's and other mages's research. So i directed my
scientific experiments towards manipulation with different planes. Other
questions couldn't be asweered by me, as my ancestral memory keeps scilence
and my own experience is yet not enough. So, after I write a letter to my
father, I will continue my trevells trying to dig deeper in phylosophical
questions and, also, in my research.
unexpected assistance
Added Wed Feb 27 12:02:49 2013 at level 27:
Seems, the general idea started to form in my head. I made close research on
factors that guide people of different religions and organizations. Those who
just live their lifes was dropped by me from scope first. I could "just live"
in Cragstone, making my father happy. Analysing the rest, next come
"fanatics": those that blindly follow their master. Or god. Or the Emperor.
I understand the benifits of being "a golem" : You don't need to think or to
doubt in your actions. Questions, motivation and else are what your Master
deals with. In exchange of your devotion you get power and glory. This doesnt
fit me either: I like to raise questions, I want to doubt in means and I want
to understand why I have to do this or that.
Next come "egoists". They do everything to obtain power for their wealth,
respect, influence. This is closer to me in some way, but I am not ambitious
and deffinately do not need to be adored by all females in this world. Still
from the position of scientist, I could open a Laboratory and provide my
research with most expensive ingridients, tools and Books. But this Plan
is missing something. I want to be part of something bigger and deeper.
Help has come from unexpectide side. Barely sharing my inside problems with
my father in my really short letters, I still managed to deliver my struggle
to him. In his last letter he adviced me to look towards Nexians. I digged in
this direction and found, that his guess was the closest to my demands.
I am not naive. All, who take part in something global, sacrifice part of
themselves and in case of Nexians, I will probably have to sacrifice my
relations with people. Nexians are the only one who will understand nexians.
All others either cannot understand the veil demands or do not want to accept
them. Speaking of benifits: you do not follow orders blindly. You need job to
be done, but the way you will do is your own responsibility. There is a lot
of scientists in ranks, so my researcher's curiosity would be satisfied
either. And you are part of a big process, that lays behind Holy wars and
personal interests. You are responsible for this world to exist.
In close future I plan to contact Nexians and touch all this in reality.
from theories to practice
Added Tue Mar 5 06:25:15 2013 at level 37:
I will start from apologises to all whom i haughty classified. I acted like
fool, thinking i am better, higher or stronger. Sorry those, whom i called
golem. I wanted to be a golem many times, so somebody will come and protect
me, somebody strong, i can rely on. Sorry Egoists. i would love to sit in my
mansion, ignoring the duty, the world state or battle i do not want. And
forgive me those, who have chosen path of standing away. i would love to
drink ale in a tavern not knowing what is happening around. Many times i
envyed people, that i looked down on. That is the reality, completely
different from books and tales.
So.. How good i am as guardian of Balance? Let's see... I don,t know why my
head with me still, cause it was hacked with axes so many times, that i
dropped to count. I afraid of shadows nearby, cause something may jump on me
from there and trip to death. I beg my servitors for healing, because all,
except my silent friend earth elemental, doesn't like me much. I can make
veil thiner, bringing one single orb if it is present. And in one thing i am
actually good: running and hiding. That is me, Tilagoth, glorious hero of all
times.
One of the things, that didn't let me to brake these days, was my research.
Guildmaster is quite satisfied with my progress and advises me to focus on
important things, but not on attitude of the creatures i summon. And during
exploration tours, I do focus on details, on things, that may be useful or
make me stronger.
Finnaly, I've come to my biggest apologize: to my Father. I was so fast to
break our bonds, but He was not, and i am very greatefull to him for that. I
am awaing of his letters when on duty. And even have moved back to our House
in Upper Cragstone. When we meet, he laughs at me and calls me not less then
"Magister Tilagoth". He cannot cover the irony, but, somehow, it makes me
relieved. And sitting near Fireplace, we laugh together at my fails, my
fears, my weakness. And i become stronger, not yet as guardian of balance,
but my faith in me returns. God damn! I am not done yet!
So i shifted my attitude: dropped arrogant and meaningless ambitions. I will
treat this world, the people and the path they walk with respect, still
understanding that my way is just different. I will drop attempts to fit the
image of me, that i designed earlier and will move forward with diligence and
patience. And let the future show if i am worth something or not.
PK Wins
Mar 2, 2013 |Lv 34|BattleRager Village|Dralkur vs 3: [33] Bala (0%), [34] Tilagoth (50%, stream of acid), [28] Thivirs (49%)
Mar 20, 2013|Lv 40|Moudrilar's Monastery|Beje vs 1: [40] Tilagoth (100%, pierce)
Mar 20, 2013|Lv 40|The Nexus Island|Raakoomer vs 1: [40] Tilagoth (100%, sting)
Mar 26, 2013|Lv 40|The Grove|Khalum vs 2: [40] Tilagoth (48%, slap), [38] Bokru (51%)
Apr 19, 2013|Lv 51|Fortress of Light|Tolgrumm vs 3: [51] Kraldinor (5%), [51] Tilagoth (24%), [51] Raakoomer (69%, pierce)